Pardon me as I ramble, pretty much letting my thoughts hit the ‘paper’ as they cross my mind . . I’ve been thinking of my dear readers daily but have had a lot to do .. More like a lot on my mind and in my prayers. . took a few days to sit back and really allow myself to feel. . . to remember who I am in Him . . to look at relationships (all of them) and ask His divine guidance in each one . . sometimes, more often than not, I need time alone with God to chat about all that’s going on and seek His thoughts . . I do love to hear His thoughts! And so, as I was driving home from work last night, He spoke to me . .. oh, how I had waited for that!!
And He released me . . simple as that . . He had seen all I had done . . the effort to restore my marriage . . He’d heard my prayers and looked deep into my heart . . but He also saw the heart of my ex-spouse and the renewal of faith and love that was not happening. . . . . as I drove I felt a huge huge burden lift from my shoulders as well as a tinge of sadness for having to give up completely. . but this time not sad enough for tears . . yes, he will always be welcome in our lives as Matt’s father (as long as he’s a positive influence), but that would be the extent of it. And, honestly, that was a relief. I had been released by my Heavenly Father to move on with my life unencumbered.
And now . .?
Well, I am going to keep on with my life as before . . not ‘looking for love’ as I’m too too busy to be bothered chasing random men . . if I end up with someone eventually he will be someone who starts as a good friend and who’s relationship with Christ and prayer life I am thoroughly familiar with. I seriously don’t need any man whose life isn’t solidly based around serving Christ (in whatever way he’s been called to serve). Also, I simply don’t meet anyone datable . . I don’t try to chat up men I meet at the grocery store, ect . . don’t meet datable men at work (can’t date client’s family) . . and dating anyone at church is not a possibility for now . .
but . . single can be a huge blessing . . less to worry about . . more uninterrupted time for prayer and simply hanging out with God . . in time He may change that . . until then I will enjoy the beauty of the life I have right now ☺
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