I have been praying and praying.. . and, for a while God was showing me visions and giving me super clear guidance . . and I’ve done my best to be obedient. . I’ve even double/cross checked by asking God to:
1) remove any unholy soul ties
2) asked God (daily) to sift people/places/situations in/out of my life in order that I may serve Him better/more efficiently
He has not redirected me away from this path. But, I feel like I’ve hit a wall . . I am still praying, fasting and seeking God’s answer . . but I am getting no new information. I am requesting that He change in me what needs to be changed in order to move forward, but . . .
So, tonight at church, I stepped out of my comfort zone, faced my fear head-on and went up to pray at the alter. I have been longing to do this for so long but was a afraid. . so afraid. . but tonight was my breaking point . . I was on my knees in the back . . praying and literally crying out to God . . like I pray when I’m alone . . softly, lovingly, imploring, praising and mostly in tongues . . but I felt like Jesus was just out of my reach . . like I would reach for His hem but it was inches beyond my grasp . . I had to go to the alter or just sit there . . just sitting was definitely not an option. . I NEEDED to know what He needed me to do next . . what would move me closer to Him and to having a husband who would be willing/ecstatic to dedicate his life to serving our Lord together (as I can only go so far as a single woman)! I HAD to go to the alter. . . and so I slowly walked up and found a spot to sit . . a spot before His throne. . . where I could hopefully reconnect. . .
And God touched me . . not at first . . at first I was able to finally sync my prayers to His ear . . I was able to focus . . I could share all that I had on my mind . . my small daily troubles were laid at His feet, given up for Him to handle. And then . . and then He reached down and calmed me . . . drew out my stress and all my problems in one long breath. And I was able to simply pray. . thankful and in love with my Lord . . safe and free to be His!
When the music playing seemed to completely stop I returned to my seat, still praying. . . and I asked Him again for visions and dreams . .
I said, “Lord I feel like you showed me so much of what was to come then abandoned me in the woods 😢 I know You will not abandon nor forsake me, but . .”
And he showed me a beautiful picture of the woods (like the woods in Bradford, PA) . . . I said, “really, Lord” and He replied, “but you find the woods refreshing!!”
This is a time of refreshing for me before the next step . . got it!!