Where have I been..? The last few months have been incredibly hard.. not the crazy-covidity mess … Yeah, that’s annoying, but seriously, it’s washing hands (didn’t we all do that already? π€) and wearing masks π· (annoying and restricting our O2 intake, but doable)… and social distancing (ever tried to be a “caregiver” and not hug? π€ That part’s been rough as clients need hugs… many times caregivers are all the hugs they’ll get…
But none of that’s been the hard part. ..
For years I’ve been living on caffeine and sugar..
I’ve been a single mom of a child with autism.. yes, he’s super high functioning in most levels, but it’s still autism.. it’s still keeping an eye out, watching for cues of needs he can’t express… cleaning behind him.Β redirecting.. loving, encouraging and correcting… It.is.a.24.7.365.job.of.love.
He decided to move out suddenly with a woman he met.. he’s 19 and she’s 21… he packed up and left… and a gaping hole was left in his wake… she changed his whole life repeatedly over a few weeks even moving him to another town that was a 45 minute drive away.. and I was not allowed to know where he was! π€π’π€―
I knew he wasn’t ok.. he even ended up in the ER over all the changes before they left town.. there was nothing I could do but pray.. and I did!! ππ A lot!!
So, I was alone a while… I’d never lived alone before.. I had so much down time!!
Yes, I still prayed about him and his situation.. and God had restored my marriage so I now had my husband to talk to and text..
I began to sort out and clean the trailer.. made quite a dent in the mess (autism parenting is not for those who need perfect homes) ..
I also took some time for me.. reassessed my health.. got in Dr and dentist visits … Cut way back on drinking pop and sweet tea . I decided I didn’t need to stay revved up on caffeine and sugar but, instead, needed to stop when my body ran out of it’s own steam..
This worked wonderfully until Matt texted for me to come get him.. π
Yes, prayers were answered… π God had surely come through!
But, I couldn’t work 2 jobs and care for Matt without the caffeine and sugar.Β . drinking only my coffee then switching to lemon water or apple cider vinegar water in the afternoon wasn’t giving me the extra stamina to keep running full steam ahead till bedtime…Β
I was completely physically exhausted.. to the point of tears for several days ..
With nowhere local to go for real support I’ve gone back to caffeine and sugar morning till night… This will simply have to be how it is until my situation changes..
There are serious changes on the horizon so I will, eventually, be able to get back to tending to my own health …
Meanwhile, coffee, Dr Pepper and sweet tea are keeping me going .
Of course heavy amounts of prayer and Bible reading are keeping me sane and friendly!! πππππ
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