What About the Pain?

{**back story: A long time ago I had a job I really enjoyed and it really challenged me. I like work that’s a challenge. I like to learn and grow. For a long time I truly thrived at that job. Then things changed. . . a huge change in how the company was run caused me to step down to a menial position.. }

While at work I fell face first down a small flight of concrete and steel stairs. I landed with a my legs across a stair and my left leg taking the brunt of the brutal force of the fall.

As I hit the ground a resident of that property came in laughing thought it was so funny that I hit the ground like that. Office staff did ask if I was okay but having been trained that speaking up and saying things weren’t okay at this job was not in my best interest I kept my mouth shut. When they asked if I wanted to go to the doctor I just didn’t say anything. I worked the rest of my shift and tried to move as fast as I could.

I needed to keep my job. I’m a single mom and, if I had gone to the doctor, I knew the Dr would have told me I couldn’t work.

Yes, I knew something was really terribly wrong with my leg but not working would have meant homelessness and I’m a single mom. I can’t … I mean it’s not like it’s just me living in my car it’s us living in my car. I couldn’t do that again. I just had to keep going and keep my mouth shut and just take more Tylenol and not say anything, not tell anybody.

Flash forward to 2020.. I’ve been running full steam ahead on my poor legs for 3+ years since the accident.

I did mention it to my Dr on my last visit. He said it looks like it may have fractured when I fell then healed twisted from me walking on it. He didn’t seem too concerned or offer tests, ect to find out for sure what’s wrong or could relieve my pain.

{I have many nights I wake screaming from the pain and cry myself back to sleep..}

I have since found another Dr who is more thorough ๐Ÿ˜Š I’m praying my next visit will bring answers and some comfort.

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