Brokenness as a Blessing

I am so broken right now. What I want.. what I so desperately need is oftentimes way more than I can handle.. well, in all honesty, it’s more than I can handle alone.

A while back (few weeks?) I made a decision I felt at the time I had to make for self-preservation. It was a relief yet totally heartbreaking.

Now, as I look back.. well, it was the decision I had to make to keep myself whole. But.. I also regret the decision.

I was sitting alone in a relationship. There was communication that was dwindling .. really all the necessary aspects of a growing thriving wholesome relationship had never been there or were more than fading away. Months of chats were turning into fewer and fewer quick tidbits.

I was watching a marriage I had once thought God was restoring slip away once again. There seemed nothing more I could do. I’d prayed and prayed for this man, for who I needed to be as a wife, for our little family.

I just wasn’t seeing, after 19+ years of prayer, a consistent interest from him in being a responsible father and husband. The total lack of concern about his son and myself and our situation or needs baffled me. His statement that he couldn’t be expected to provide financial support when he didn’t even have enough money for his own needs was beyond my comprehension.

So I simply walked away.

I quit paying his phone bill for him, which shut off his phone on the spot.

And that seemed to not phase him in the slightest.. there was no text or call from a friend’s phone to see if we were ok…

There was, and has been, Nothing. 🚫

Like we never existed.

God’s way of saying, “Enough! Let him go, this man who was engaged to another while you were pregnant and still married. Who never, in 20 years paid a dime of child support… Let.him.go!”

10 responses to “Brokenness as a Blessing”

  1. You deserve so much more! And yes, let him go! He’s no good! <3 <3

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you.. yes, I can see that.. so hard to 100% walk away as I know that’s not how God intended it.. but God won’t force anyone to do what’s right… 🙏

      Like

  2. Breath and remember, the power of a Mother and the strength of a woman. You deserve a better place in God’s plans. Loves to you dear one take care 🥰 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hugs my children’s dad does nothing with them unless it benefits him. It’s heartbreaking. May you find peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. These absentee parents will reap what they are sewing
      Yes, most of my days are peaceful and I am seeing His blessing me in all of this

      Like

  4. It’s heart breaking but it feels a good decision. Maybe that was what you needed to do to get where you are supposed to be. 🤗🙋‍♀️🐝

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I agree.. seems like blessings flow faster when he’s not part of the equation

      Like

      1. There is your answer then 🤗🙋‍♀️🐝

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Definitely 🤗⛵🙏

          Liked by 1 person

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